We try to produce a family friendly radio show... these stories were carried on other shows, but we choose not to air them. I know there are some who want to hear this... so here you go. Some funny... and DISTURBING stuff we didn't put on the radio! ;-)
A frisky high school freshman in San Antonio turned a virtual art class into an unwanted peep show, pulling up his shirt and making sexual advances toward a teacher. A Zoom class held by a female teacher Tuesday for more than a dozen students at Thomas Edison High School descended into chaos when at least one unidentified freshman exposed his chest during the session while saying he’d like to perform sex acts on her. During the class, a portion of which was obtained by the station, one student held up his shirt while gyrating toward the camera, video shows. “Why you so sexy?” one student says before saying the teacher’s name, which was removed from the footage. Officials from the San Antonio Independent School District confirmed they’re looking into the incident, saying “appropriate disciplinary” action will be taken. (https://bit.ly/2FLdmyV)
An erect willy appeared on British Television for the first time in history on Monday night during a documentary called “Me and My Penis.” They sued to ban this in court.(https://bit.ly/32PQplK)
An Ohio woman bought a package of what she thought was smoked turkey tails at a supermarket – but thought she got the shaft when she noticed a decidedly phallic-shaped piece of meat in her beans. “I’m calling Save A Lot, this ain’t right,” Akron resident Lamia Singfield said on Facebook Live. “I know what this is,” she added, referring to a male member. “It’s got the folds,” Singfield told her Facebook fans. “Upon further investigation, there’s a hole at the tip.” When she checked her store receipt, it indicated she had bought turkey tails, but a photo of the label said it was actually “smoked pork tails.” But still fearing that she was cooking male genitalia, the worried woman called the cops about the mystery meat. Fortunately, an investigator from the Summit County Medical Examiner’s Office said the meat was indeed pork and not an errant penis – adding that the piece of meat contained a bone, suggesting it was likely a pig tail. (https://bit.ly/31OTPWw)
A 36-year-old Ocala woman spent Sunday night in the Marion County Jail for allegedly battering a man after she caught him viewing pornography on his phone. A Marion County sheriff’s deputy responded to a disturbance report and met with the victim in his truck a few blocks away from the incident location. The victim said he got into a heated argument with Danielle Whitt over him making toast instead of rolls for breakfast. The victim said to avoid confrontation, he went into his bedroom and started watching a video of a half-naked woman on his phone. He said Whitt came into the bedroom, observed him watching the video and punched him in the chest out of anger. The victim said in order to defend himself, he grabbed Whitt in the back of the neck and pushed her away. He said Whitt continued her attack by punching him four or five more times in the forearm, causing injury. The deputy observed a dark-colored bruise on the victim’s forearm. The victim said Whitt has hit him several times before and he just wants her out of the residence. Whitt was charged with simple domestic battery. (https://bit.ly/2YwycZh)
German sex workers idled by the coronavirus pandemic let their positions be known – by simulating intercourse on an outdoor bed to demand the reopening of brothels. A fully clothed couple – dutifully wearing masks and with sanitizer on hand — was photographed in a faux romp outside Dusseldorf’s state Parliament with signs reading “Red light on” and “Sex work is real work.” Sex work, which is legal but regulated in Germany, was banned in March in efforts to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus. Many of the workers have been struggling financially, particularly migrants who are not entitled to unemployment benefits. The unemployed sex workers argued that brothels could easily incorporate safety measures adopted by other industries, including the use of face masks, ventilation and recording visitors’ contact information. (https://bit.ly/2YOD3F9)
A Zambian woman sank her teeth into her husband’s genitals because she was infuriated that he refused to kill a rat in their home. 52-year-old Abraham Musonda suffered the gruesome injury when his wife, 40-year-old Mukupa, returned to their home in the town of Kitwe after drinking out with her friends and discovered the rodent. According to the Deputy Police Commissioner, the two are separated and have separate bedrooms in the same home. Mukupa claimed the rat was pestering her in her room so she asked Musonda to get rid of it – then gnawed into his manhood when he refused and caused a “major tear.” Musonda was rushed to a Kitwe Teaching Hospital, where he was treated for the shocking injury. It was not known if the woman was charged. (https://bit.ly/3bFlyfY)
After taking a sex toy from a shelf at a Florida adult novelty store, a woman removed her clothes and began using the “pink colored” device inside the business. A Fort Pierce cop was dispatched to the Lion's Den Adult Superstore “in reference to a disturbance.” En route to the business, a dispatcher noted that “there was a female in the store wearing a purple shirt and had on no pants.” Before the officer entered Lion's Den, a worker explained that the masturbating suspect had “removed a sex toy from the packaging and was now fully nude.” The woman, the worked added, had disappeared into a stock room with the sex toy. When he entered the stock room, the officer found 36-year-old Theresa Stanley “sitting in an office chair with her feet up on the table.” Stanley had a “pink colored, penis shaped sex toy” in her hand and was using the device in a “masturbatory manner.” Stanley was arrested for theft and indecent exposure, both misdemeanors. After being read her rights, Stanley declined to the speak with the officer, whose body-worn camera recorded the bizarre incident. (https://bit.ly/3bDu3Il)
A man in China had to undergo surgery to remove a beer glass that he got stuck up his bum. The 53-year-old man, named only as Mr. Huang, went to the Affiliated Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital of Southwest Medical University in Lu after he pushed the glass into his bum upside down. The glass was just short of six centimeters tall with a diameter of 5.6 centimeters and become completely stuck, requiring surgery. According to a report from the hospital, Professor Li Wusheng and his team were forced to operate on the patient when they could not retrieve the beer glass, which was positioned up his rectum. X-ray images how the glass lodged inside the patient, while other images show medics working to remove it. The hospital did not give any details about why Mr. Huang inserted the glass into his rectum. (https://bit.ly/2GyXu2D)
A woman who thought her boyfriend’s secretive behavior was evidence of him cheating has had a weird surprise. The American woman became suspicious after she started living with her boyfriend only to notice he would quickly run to the bathroom, basement, or backyard when he got a text on his phone. She went through his phone only to discover —- he had been secretly recording his farts to send to his brothers as part of a decades-long fart-ranking competition. The man, who posted on Reddit’s AITA (Am I the A-hole) revealed the drama to the public to ask if he was an “a-hole” for keeping the silly game a secret for so long. “I'm one of four brothers, and we would all fart in front of each other growing up. Like, on purpose, as loud as we could, as a contest,” he wrote. “I don't think my family is super unique or anything in that regard. I suppose we did take it a bit further than most since we actually established a sort of grading system we would vote on.” (https://bit.ly/2GZWKnz)
A 63-year-old Massachusetts mom and her 43-year-old son were arrested for incest after his wife caught them having sex on the couch. (https://bit.ly/2EOthMl)
A sex robot customer in the UK is vowing to never date humans again.(https://bit.ly/3aQ7TSB)
Former “Boy Meets World” actress turned adult film actress Maitland Ward has produced the first pornographic film of the Covid Era. (https://bit.ly/2ZTP8cC)
PornHub has released its first high-fashion adult movie. (https://pge.sx/3i5upsB)
A Vietnamese company was busted recycling hundreds of thousands of used condoms. (https://bit.ly/3mMy3LD)
Dolly Parton is in talks to appear in Playboy for her 75th birthday.(https://pge.sx/3iu7APz)
A Louisiana priest was arrested for allegedly filming himself having sex with two dominatrices on the altar at his Catholic church. The priest, identified by Nola.com as the Reverend Travis Clark, was busted after a passerby saw the lights on later than usual on September 30th and peeked inside Saints Peter and Paul Roman Catholic Church. The unidentified witness saw the half-naked priest having sex with the two women, who were dressed in corsets and high-heeled boots. The altar was also adorned with stage lighting, several sex toys, and a cellphone mounted on a tripod that was recording the act. The witness took video footage of the unholy trinity. Cops arrested Clark, along with his two altar servers, 41-year-old Mindy Dixon and 23-year-old Melissa Cheng. The women told cops they were at the church to film “roleplay” with the priest. Cops determined everything that went on that night was consensual, but arrested the trio on the obscenity charges because they were in view of the public. (https://bit.ly/36R8QdB)
Roger Montoya, a Democratic Congressional Candidate in New Mexico, has admitted to starring in two pornographic films in the 80’s. Despite the scandal, Montoya’s poll numbers look pretty good. (https://bit.ly/36GKBP9)
A Chinese company has created a male chastity device that clamps a solid steel ring onto the base of your genitals to keep you from using them. The makers are concerned the device could be vulnerable to hacking because it’s controlled via bluetooth. The device is also supposed to limit the amount of time men spend pleasuring themselves. It’s billed as a “SMART MALE CHASTITY DEVICE” (https://yhoo.it/3d5mvyP)
An Israeli couple was arrested for violating the lockdown after they were caught having sex on the beach. (https://bit.ly/3d2VcVT)
New York’s hottest sex club is throwing an exclusive “Black Death” themed Halloween party. (https://pge.sx/3dlAXCU)
Tokyo has opened a pornography theme park where real life porn stars serve guests. They say it’s a FIVE-STORY park. (https://bit.ly/31i51dP)
CNN Legal Analyst Jeffrey Toobin has apologized after being caught masturbating during a Zoom meeting. (https://fxn.ws/37mWt9m)
OJ Simpson compared Jeffrey Toobin’s masturbation scandal to Pee Wee Herman on Twitter, saying at least Paul Ruebens was in a theater.(https://fxn.ws/31o6T4A)
A Florida Woman arrested for trespassing was hit with a second criminal charge when, after being asked to identify herself, she repeatedly told cops that her name was “My butt just farted.” 33-year-old Melinda Lynn Guerrero was collared Wednesday evening after refusing to leave a Mobil gas station in St. Petersburg. Following her arrest, Guerrero refused to provide her name to police. Cops asked “multiple times,” but “the defendant repeatedly said, ‘My name is my butt just farted.’” Officers subsequently identified Guerrero as the accused trespasser--likely due to the fact that her photo and fingerprints are on file in connection with a series of arrests over the past several years. Police noted that Guerrero may have been under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. She was charged with trespassing and providing a false name to law enforcement, both misdemeanors. (https://bit.ly/3499Ckw)
A man with a history of perverse criminal charges was arrested this week after he was allegedly seen fondling himself on Louisiana State University’s campus. Arrest records say the incident happened September 23rd in the parking lot outside Patrick Taylor Hall near the edge of campus. A person walking past said he saw 72-year-old James Cousins watching a female student from his truck. The passerby told police it appeared Cousins was masturbating while he watched the student enter the building. Once the officers identified Cousins as the owner of the truck, it was learned he'd been arrested on several obscenity charges dating back to 1981, including multiple incidents in the same parking lot. When confronted by investigators, he explained to police that he likes to sit and listen to music in his truck and that someone may have mistaken him playing “air drums” on his knees as an obscene act from afar. Cousins was booked Friday morning on a charge of obscenity. (https://bit.ly/31guqV2)
The Alcoholic Beverages Control Commission of Massachusetts has indefinitely suspended the liquor license of a Springfield strip club after continued COVID safety regulations were violated. Mardi Gras, a strip club located in downtown Springfield, had reportedly violated safety standards. According to a report from October 8th, Mardi Gras liquor license had been suspended indefinitely but that appeal could be filed within thirty days. On August 22nd, according to the report, investigators went to Mardi Gras to ensure compliance with COVID-19 safety measures. The investigators saw many without facial coverings and standing near the bar. “Investigators also observed two females without any facial coverings, providing a lap dance to two male individuals,” the report states. Mardi Gras posted on Facebook that it is currently closed but plans to reopen soon. (https://bit.ly/34UtlDw)
The city of Miami has lifted its COVID-19 curfew after a strip club named “Tootsie’s Cabaret” filed a lawsuit claiming the curfew violated their right to open during peak business hours. (https://bit.ly/2FDtD99)
