Show Notes for Thursday January 3, 2019

Show Notes for Thursday January 3, 2019


Dear John,
I have a new years resolution to lose weight, but my girlfriend is not very supportive. She has amazing metabolism and can eat whatever she wants without gaining a single pound. How do I get her to be more supportive? I'm trying to get in better shape for her. I have gained about 20 pounds since we started dating, so I'd like to lose that weight and get back to a comfortable weight. Anyone have a suggestion on how to get her on board with this plan?


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TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY! (A special thank you to

January 3
National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day
National Drinking Straw Day
National Fruitcake Toss Day

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I'm going to give you the name of a REAL place...I want you to tell me if it houses a GOLF COURSE or a REHAB CENTER!
The Pohcat in Mount Pleasant….. GOLF COURSE

Brought to you by! Each day we talk about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter… if you or someone you know needs help, there is help. You can learn more at
Police in Newnan, Georgia opened an investigation after a video game collector who bought a stash of retro Nintendo games at a flea market discovered two of the cartridges were filled with packages of drugs. Julian Turner of Newnan posted a video to YouTube showing him examining his day's flea market haul, which included multiple Nintendo Entertainment System games from the 1980s. Turner said his interest was piqued when he noticed one of the cartridges, Rollergames, was the European/Australian PAL release. He said the game, and a copy of Golf, were also found to weigh about 50 percent more than they should have. Turner opened the two cartridges and discovered they contained small packages of what appeared to be narcotics. Detectives believe that the packages appear to have been inside the cartridges for a very long time before they ended up at the market. (

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NBC is being slammed for not showing the ball drop during its New Year’s Eve Coverage. (

Gordon Ramsay posted an Instagram video on New Year’s Eve announcing that his wife is expecting their fifth child. (

Comedian Louis CK is being attacked on Twitter after leaked audio surfaced from a recent show in which he joked about the victims of the Parkland school shooting. (

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A survey by Quartzy found that 7-11 coffee gives you the best bang for your buck. (

Over two million people attended New Year’s Eve festivities in Times Square. (

The United States Department of Defense apologized and took down a tweet in which they joked about dropping bombs on New Year’s Eve. (

A group of Kentucky cops posted photos that show them mourning the loss of a Krispy Kreme Donut truck that burst into flames on New Year’s Eve.

An Oklahoma Taco Bell customer shot out a drive-thru window Monday night because they didn’t have any taco sauce. (

French fire fighters rescued a family who got trapped on a fair ride for three hours on New Year’s Eve. (

Meghan Markle’s half sister, Samantha, told the Daily Mirror that Meghan needs to eat more chocolate in order to “sweeten her disposition.” (

Share this with your friends... they'll think you're really smart!
Lobsters have bladders on either side of their heads, so they communicate by urinating at each other. If they want another lobster to know that they’re happy or sad or angry or interested in a relationship, they say it with pee!

BEDIZEN... (bi—DIE—zen)... verb
1) To dress or adorn gaudily.

Come Christmas-time, the trees in the town square are BEDIZENED with thousands of twinkling lights.

WEIRD NEWS: Brought to you by
Collier County Deputies say that a North Naples woman claiming to be God held up a postal truck, stole a single package, and fled on a tricycle. 52-year-old Leida Crisostomo of Naples was arrested by patrol units at 4:00 p.m. The report states that while being cuffed, Crisostomo “yelled that she was God” and that “voices were telling her to do things.” Earlier that day, deputies reported, the woman pointed a gun at a jogger and stopped a U.S. Postal Service mail truck. Crisostomo stole one package and escaped via tricycle. The pistol was later found to be a plastic fake. Crisostomo was charged with felony armed robbery and aggravated assault. (

MOMENT OF DUH: Brought to you by

A Fort Worth man accused of shooting his wife's laptop because her music was too loud was arrested after a standoff with police. 44-year-old Gary Lee Lykins was booked into the Fort Worth Jail and charged with deadly conduct, a third-degree felony. Police were called at about 2:00 a.m. to the couple's home in northwest Fort Worth. Investigators say the wife was playing music on her laptop when Lykins grabbed a handgun and shot the computer. A police spokesman said, “The debris from the laptop caused minor injuries, though it's unclear whether an ambulance was needed.” When officers arrived, Lykins was holed up in the house with “access to several firearms.” A SWAT team was called, but he surrendered before they arrived. (

Please submit YOUR own Dad Joke -

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, 
but I was tripping all day! 

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Give Yourself a ‘Dry January’ – You’ll Sleep Better, Save Money, and Lose Weight