Show Notes for Thursday May 23, 2019

Show Notes for Thursday May 23, 2019


Dear John,

My husband and I have gotten in a few arguments lately because he never wants to go anywhere. I feel like we don't have any close friends, but I think it's because he never wants to do anything. We have won tickets for concerts and didn't even go because he would rather stay home. I don't have any work friends that I go out with and I'm not from here, so my friends that I stay in touch with on facebook are hundreds of miles away. What can I do to encourage my husband to get off the sofa and go out somewhere? I want to enjoy life and not be anchored to the sofa to watch TV. What can I do?

Signed – NeedADateNight

(Looks like you'e not alone)
A survey by One Poll found that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in the past five years. (

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TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY! (A special thank you to
May 23rd
National Lucky Penny Day
National Taffy Day

SURVEYS, STUDIES & SUCH: Brought to you by

What do you think is the best job for lazy people? According to Reddit users, being a security guard is one of the best jobs for lazy people. (The Ladders)

Brought to you by! Each day we talk about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter… if you or someone you know needs help, we're here to help! You can learn more at

According to Georgia Police, a box of Legos that was supposed to contain 244 pieces of bricks, gears, and axles instead held three pounds of methamphetamine. Investigators say a trio of Georgia women recently purchased the Lego kit at a consignment shop in Charleston, South Carolina and brought it home to Statesboro, where they gave the set--which retails for $15.99 at Walmart--to a child. Upon opening the box, it was quickly determined that the package contained no colorful plastic pieces. Instead, as seen in the above evidence photo, the box was stuffed with meth police valued at $40,000. The Lego box was turned over to the Bulloch County Sheriff’s Office, which launched a probe in conjunction with the Drug Enforcement Administration. Investigators concluded that the Lego set had originally been mailed by a drug trafficker, but that the package was never delivered due to a faulty or nonexistent address. (

Selena Gomez blasted Social Media at the Cannes Film Festival, saying it’s been no good for her generation. (

“Vanderpump Rules” star Lala Kent said she got sober after she went to Disney World with her fianc√©’s children for four days and was drunk the entire time.

SCOOP OF THE DAY: Brought to you by
A video has gone viral of a Polish woman driving her car into a liquor store and running inside to steal booze. (

A Malaysian woman jumped to her death after taking a poll on Instagram over whether or not she should kill herself. Sad story. (

The U.S. Navy has released the full findings from a probe into a 2017 incident in which a pilot drew a penis in the sky.(

Oreos announced plans to release five new flavors this summer. The flavors include Mint Chocolate Chip, Maple Creme, Latte Creme, S’Mores, and there’s even one themed after the moon landing. The company says they’re doing it to create buzz. (

A Maine Woman is suing her ex-boyfriend for the right to visit what used to be the couple’s dog. (

A Southwest Airlines passenger was kicked off a plane after he jokingly asked the Flight Attendant if the water she was passing out was vodka. (

Workers have gone on strike at “The Rainforest Cafe” in Canada after claiming the restaurant chain turned a blind eye towards sexual harassment.

A South African College Student ate free KFC for a year by showing up to a restaurant in a limo and pretending to be an Executive at the company.
A KFC spokesperson is denying this actually happened. (
Guns N’ Roses have filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against the makers of “Guns N’ Rose” Ale. (

Microsoft is warning of a massive computer bug that could harm people who use older editions of its Windows Operating System. (

Share this with your friends... they'll think you're really smart!
The Author of The Da Vinci Code Was a Failed Pop Star. Before he wrote blockbuster thrillers about religious history, Dan Brown worked as a songwriter and pop singer in Los Angeles. One of his albums was Angels & Demons, using some of the same design elements in the liner notes that he would use in his novel of the same title six years later.


Sophophobia... Fear of learning.

WEIRD NEWS: Brought to you by
Some people will do anything to avoid traffic. The Minnesota State Patrol posted a photo on social media Friday of a skeleton dressed in a purple A√©ropostale hoodie sitting in the passenger seat of a vehicle. The driver wanted to use a MnPASS lane, reserved for buses, motorcycles and carpoolers. Commuters can often shave five to ten minutes off their drive by using the MnPASS lane, and scofflaws who use the lane illegally face a $300 fine. This driver wanted to appear that he was carpooling, so he dressed up a skeleton, hoping law enforcement would see the human form and believe he had a passenger with him. No doubt he got the idea online, where others have dressed up dummies, mannequins, and dolls to do the same thing. The State patrol said in a Facebook post, “The trooper pulled over the driver, who had the skeleton buckled in improperly. He was cited for illegally using the MnPASS lane.”

MOMENT OF DUH: Brought to you by

According to an arrest affidavit, a Florida Man is facing a criminal charge after he allegedly woke his longtime girlfriend up by “slapping her with a cheeseburger” and then pulled her hair and kicked her. Police say that 30-year-old Kyle Jamison Jones wielded the cheeseburger during a May 4th confrontation in the Jensen Beach home he shares with his girlfriend of seven years. While unable to identify any physical injuries on the victim, a cop noted that, “I was able to locate several remnants of said cheeseburger on her person.” During a police interview, Jones acknowledged that “a verbal argument and physical altercation” took place, but he “decided to remain silent” when asked further about the confrontation. Charged with battery, Jones was booked into the Martin County jail on the misdemeanor charge. (
What do these 3 things have in common:
(They are all Aunts)

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Cafeteria Worker Fired For Giving Student Free Food Gets Job Offer From 
Celebrity Chef -