THIS WEEK'S DEAR JOHN LETTER!
Dear John,
I heard you ask for funny letters a few weeks ago. Not sure how funny this is, but I'm sure some people will be amused. I have a neighbor who has three cats. They are all outdoor cats. So we also kind of have three cats. Sadly, I'm allergic to cats, so I try to keep them out of my yard. Last week I carried in groceries and left my kitchen door open. Somehow one of their cats came in while I was not looking. That night I was all stuffy and puffy. I had no idea the cat was in my house, but while I was watching a movie with my husband, the cat jumped on my lap. I screamed like crazy! My husband caught the cat and put it outside. He found it pretty amusing, but I'm not happy at all. When we had dogs, we needed to keep them inside or on a leash. Why is it OK for cats to roam ll over the neighborhood? How do I keep these cats out of my yard and out of my house? Nothing violent please.
Signed – I Don't Like Cats
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TODAY
IS A SPECIAL DAY! (A special thanks to NationalDayCalendar.com)
June 18
National Go Fishing Day
National Splurge Day
National Career Nurse Assistants Day
SURVEYS,
STUDIES & SUCH: Brought to you by BetterCreditCards.com
A new study by the Guinness Book has determined that the world’s tallest dog, a seven foot Great Dane named “Freddy,” is now the world’s oldest living Great Dane at the age of eight. (https://bit.ly/3fsXq0J)
THIS
IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS: Brought to you by TimeForRehab.com!
Each
day we share stories about people doing dumb things under the
influence, but ADDICTION IS NO LAUGHING MATTER! If you or someone you
know needs help, we're here! Learn more at TimeForRehab.com.
A
Monroe, Louisiana man is facing a disturbing the peace drunkenness
charge after he was allegedly naked in a West Monroe gas station.
According to an arrest report for 29-year-old Jesse Dearman Jr., WMPD
officers were dispatched regarding a naked man inside the store. When
officers arrived, deputies had the man in custody. He identified
himself as Jesse Dearman and said he was naked because he was
attacked by a spider and removed his clothes for safety. Officers
said they asked Dearman if he had taken any controlled dangerous
substances. Dearman replied he had but did not know what it was. On
a scale of 1-10 ranking its power, he said the CDS was a four.
Dearman was booked into OCC Thursday morning on the disturbing the
peace charge and one municipal charge in West Monroe. The suspect has
posted bond. (https://bit.ly/2UfDuWQ)
BIG
SCREEN-LITTLE SCREEN: Brought to you by ChannelSurferTV.com
The Texas Prison where Joe Exotic is staying has denied reports that they’re keeping fan mail from the “Tiger King.” (https://bit.ly/2MZ9eM5)
Pete Davidson’s new film, “The King Of Staten Island,” was mysteriously pulled from drive-in-theaters. (https://bit.ly/2C7dQgR)
SCOOP
OF THE DAY: Brought to you by InsuranceChicken.com
Spain’s
Bullfighters are seeking a bailout from the government after many of
the bulls were sent to slaughterhouses.
(https://bit.ly/2UJHA9R)
International
Health Experts are questioning how Russia could still have such
incredibly low Coronavirus totals. Three different Doctors have
slipped and fell out of a hospital window after claiming the
government didn’t have enough supplies.
(https://abcn.ws/2UJe5VG)
A Belgian Prince got Coronavirus after breaking quarantine to party in Spain. (https://bit.ly/37jfbg6)
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is allowing people who don’t live together to have sex for the first time since the Coronavirus lockdowns. (https://bit.ly/37neYZp)
India has increased the penalty for killing a cow to ten years in jail. (https://bit.ly/2UDSaiS)
Rihanna is paying $415,000 to stay in The Hamptons for one month this summer. (https://bit.ly/2YoiFKd)
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have sold a Soho Loft they bought in 2018. The apartment went for $5 million. (https://bit.ly/2YtUNF1)
FUN
FACT FOR YOU:
Share
this with your friends... they'll think you're really smart!
Beaver
bum goo is occasionally used to enhance vanilla flavorings. The next
time you eat something that flaunts the rich flavor of vanilla, you
might want to be aware of—or do your best to ignore—the fact that
castoreum, a goo that beavers excrete to mark their territory, is
sometimes used to enhance the flavor of vanilla in food, according to
National Geographic. The goo is "generally regarded as a safe
additive" by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, but you'll
probably never come across it in real life because it's difficult and
expensive to collect.
A
NEWS HEADLINE... FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD!
Dateline....
QUEBEC
A
video of a cat getting “brain freeze” after it tried ice cream
for the first time in Quebec has gone viral.
(http://dailym.ai/2YmoDuT)
WEIRD
NEWS: Brought to you by WeirdGiftOfTheDay.com
Oklahoma
authorities say three kids broke into a school and trashed the
building, leaving more than $50,000 in damages. Police said Monday
the children, ages 6, 8, and 12, broke a glass door to gain access to
Altus Intermediate School for the vandalism spree. “Surveillance
cameras inside the school show the juveniles damaging computers,
dumping paint on floors and walls, using fire extinguishers inside
multiple rooms and damaging interior doors and interior windows,”
the Altus Police Department said. Photos released of the damages
showed red and blue paint splattered throughout the building with
numerous objects knocked to the floor. The youngsters were arrested
Sunday in connection with the burglary and later released to their
parents. (https://bit.ly/30yvcNC)
MOMENT
OF DUH: Brought to you by InsuranceChicken.com
Florida
court records show that a fight over directional arrows on the floor
of a Goodwill store ended with a pair of shoppers under arrest for
battery. 29-year-old Jenna Sims was inside the Tampa-area thrift
store when she got into a confrontation with 50-year-old Paul Turner
“over the floor directions due to COVID-19.” As part of Goodwill
Industries’ Coronavirus safety measures, one-way aisles have been
established to allow patrons to more easily maintain a six-foot
distance from other individuals. Cops say that Sims was upset upon
spotting Turner going the wrong way in an aisle. During an ensuing
argument, Sims allegedly struck Turner “about his body, head, and
face.” Turner responded by shoving Sims away. Sims and Turner were
each arrested for battery, a misdemeanor, and booked into the
Pinellas County jail. They were both released from custody after
posting $500 bond. (https://bit.ly/3fjKeuW)
FAKE
NEWS.... OR FLORIDA?!
I
read a headline, you guess if the story is something that really
happened in the great state of FLORIDA or is it #FakeNews made up to
trick you and amuse me
A
Miami pet store owner found his shop door had been left open all
weekend, Monday morning all his fish eaten by neighborhood cats. -
FAKE NEWS
GOOD
NEWS: Brought to you by #GiftCardChallenge
GiftCardChallenge.org
Pastor Gets Ice Cream Truck To Celebrate Birthday, Hands Out Hundreds Of Free Treats
